Let's talk about control

I don't like the things that I cannot control: I'm not used to them, I don't like the idea ... so I waste energy thinking about all the consequences that could happen ... and I hate that also; so I'm going around in circles, not helping myself.

It's this incredible thing about humans: the need for control and discovering sense and significance in all the things that happen around them. I feel like being part of an experiment: Let us see how much you can last without control ... let's see if you can survive the "not knowing, wondering and doubt". You know, Seligman's dogs died because they had no control over what was happening to them.

Well ... I guess I'm a bit smarted than a dog and I am able to take control again over the things that are happening right now in my life; it will just take me a while. But I know that with or without external help I will get to that point of being myself, in a context that I can control up to some point, accepting the things I cannot change.

I just have to get out of this place for now ... and put my thoughts and feelings in their right place for a change.

And then ... it will all make sense again ...