My journey in a music box

No more words are needed ...

2011-10-25T11:02:00.001+03:00

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your lover’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy.

Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

Vei plange mult ori vei zambi?

2011-10-08T16:25:00.003+03:00

nu mă căiesc,

c-am adunat în suflet și noroi -

dar mă gândesc la tine.

Cu gheare de lumină
o dimineaţă-ţi va ucide-odată visul,

că sufletul mi-aşa curat,

cum gândul tău il vrea,

cum inima iubirii tale-l crede.

Vei plânge mult atunci ori vei ierta?

Vei plânge mult ori vei zâmbi
de razele acelei dimineţi,

în care eu ţi-oi zice fără umbră de căinţă:

"Nu ştii, ca numa-n lacuri cu noroi în fund cresc nuferi?"

67. Freelove ... or else

2011-10-08T09:50:00.003+03:00

If you've suffered enough

I can understand what you're thinking of

I can see the pain that you're frightened of

I've been running like you

Now you understand why I'm running scared

I've been searching for truth

And I haven't been getting anywhere

We've been running from love

And we don't know what we're doing here

66. Put your lights on

2011-10-08T09:42:00.002+03:00

There's a darkness,

living deep in my soul

it still got a purpose to serve

So let your lights shine,

deep into my home ...

What else is there?

2011-10-07T20:21:00.001+03:00

When values are forgotten, promises and commitments broken, plans are changed by a single moment of weakness, expectations do not meet halfway, what else is there? You either give up or stand for what you believe in ... hoping to find sense and significance, people who are there, no matter how hard the quest is. I wish for THEM again, in mine ...

65. Trying to change the people we love only makes them ... someone else ...

2011-10-07T15:12:00.002+03:00

Tell me actions speak louder
But there's something about her words that hurt
Closing up and it's so late and
I'm the last one still waiting for you to lock the door

On our way home, I realize
There's some kind of storm
Brewing in his eyes
Only veiled by a thin disguise

Now that I've done my time
I need to move on and I need you to try
'Cause we're out of goodbyes
We're out of goodbyes, out of goodbyes

Never asked you to change
But sadly you don't feel the same about me
I wonder does your man still shudder
When you touch his hand like this man

And on our way home I realize
There's some kind of storm
Brewing in his eyes
Only veiled by a thin disguise

Now that I've done my time
I need to move on and I need you to try
'Cause we're out of goodbyes ...

64. No regrets

2011-10-07T15:00:00.000+03:00

I loved the way we used to laugh
I loved the way we used to smile

63. A case of you

2011-03-25T15:51:00.000+02:00

I remember that time that you told me, you said
"Love is touching souls"
Surely you touched mine

And there it is :D

2011-02-28T16:06:00.001+02:00

Let's talk about control

2011-02-14T18:50:00.004+02:00

I don't like the things that I cannot control: I'm not used to them, I don't like the idea ... so I waste energy thinking about all the consequences that could happen ... and I hate that also; so I'm going around in circles, not helping myself.

It's this incredible thing about humans: the need for control and discovering sense and significance in all the things that happen around them. I feel like being part of an experiment: Let us see how much you can last without control ... let's see if you can survive the "not knowing, wondering and doubt". You know, Seligman's dogs died because they had no control over what was happening to them.

Well ... I guess I'm a bit smarted than a dog and I am able to take control again over the things that are happening right now in my life; it will just take me a while. But I know that with or without external help I will get to that point of being myself, in a context that I can control up to some point, accepting the things I cannot change.

I just have to get out of this place for now ... and put my thoughts and feelings in their right place for a change.

And then ... it will all make sense again ...

But ...

2010-12-06T19:51:00.002+02:00

Surgery is when you get saved ... but ... postop, after sugery, is when you get healed.

But ... what if you don't?

Hold me in your thoughts, take me to your dreams...keep me in your heart

2010-10-17T23:06:00.001+03:00

Shadows are falling and I'm running out of breath
Keep me in your heart for a while
If I leave you it doesn't mean I love you any less***
Keep me in your heart for a while

When you get up in the morning and you see that crazy sun
Keep me in your heart for a while
There's a train leaving nightly called when all is said and done
Keep me in your heart for a while

Sometimes when you're doing simple things around the house
Maybe you'll think of me and smile
You know I'm tied to you like the buttons on your blouse
Keep me in your heart for a while

Hold me in your thoughts, take me to your dreams
Touch me as I fall into view
When the winter comes keep the fires lit
And I will be right next to you

Engine driver's headed north to Pleasant Stream
Keep me in your heart for a while
These wheels keep turning but they're running out of steam
Keep me in your heart for a while

Pentru ca eu inca mai cred in povesti si personaje complexe

2010-10-17T23:03:00.001+03:00

62. Come home

2010-09-16T15:35:00.002+03:00

Come home
Come home
Cause I’ve been waiting for you

For so long

For so long

... but I just keep waiting, patiently.

Always here :)

61. Looking back

2010-09-11T21:41:00.002+03:00

Sometimes I look back on the things that just happened and I compare them to what I thought they would look like. I can gladly say that reality so beats the imagination :) and that actually makes me happy.

I found myself happy, about the small things: a walk to the store on the corner of the street, a trip with the bus, trembling in the cold train, enjoying the silence and the warm hug I so missed...it's good to be me again, to let go and enjoy the moment with the deepest sincerity and the innocent enthusiasm.

I don't know when they all happened, I cannot realize when freedom became part of the equation, but the moments will be there in my mind...a bit modified by my memory and enhanced by the feeling...but there, alive, till the next time when they will come around.

Just wait for them...they come in a music-box...you just have to enjoy them...again and again!!!

Converging leadership and diversity

2010-08-28T20:42:00.001+03:00

For some it may seem just a sentence, but for me it is and it will be a reality.
You cannot understand perspective if you are not here, in the middle of what is happening...you can only imagine and imagination may be the next best thing.

More than 100 countries in the same place and the vibe of an entire plenary representing different values, ideas, behaviors, ways of seeing the world. It's insightful, it makes you think and want to do more, see more, act and start building. It makes me want to be part of a bigger process, to change myself in order to give others the chance to look towards new realities.

I have met people that have been in eXchange, people that have had several leadership positions, people that have interacted with individuals with different perspectives...and the exploration is still in progress.

Today we have head the final sessions of LEAD, a leadership program developed at international level that has exceeded my expectations. For two days now we have looked inside ourselves in order to discover the way we think, feel and act. We talked about "facticity", "possibility", "uncertainty" and the ways in which accepting them or being in denial affects the way we feel. We have explored the types of leadership and had a meaningful conversation with the person that is leading AIESEC International today and the truth is: "Now that I can see, I will be moving".

We have India night tonight and AIESEC Bangalore has prepared one beautiful show for us. It's all color, music and traditions...it's Incredible India :)

My advice to you: overcome yourself.
My wish for you: experience internationalism.
My "food for thought": don't ask for permission from anybody, just take that chance.

Second-guessing...go away

2010-08-04T00:45:00.002+03:00

I want so much for it to be EPIC that sometimes I don't realize it already is :)

I said I would jump, didn't I? Well...there's no better time than the present.

60. My response to you

2010-08-03T01:35:00.003+03:00

No if clauses...just You and Me

59. Jump...just jump already !!!

2010-08-03T01:16:00.003+03:00

I like the stories of people and I seem to understand them most of the times. But when it comes to mine...well, not an easy one.

I'm learning to adjust but I bump into old issues and find new ones on the road...
I still need to believe in stories with happy ending, just not sure how to create them yet.

To hope is to risk pain...
To try is to risk failure...
but risk must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

So I'm taking that leap...yes I am...because it's worth the try and the involvement...yes I am...:)

The wonders of planning...and the beauty of technology :)

2010-08-02T16:21:00.002+03:00

And here we go...full of confidence and great dreams. 77 is our first stop, but we plan on rollin' some more :D

58. Now I know

2010-07-19T20:34:00.000+03:00

A glass of wine, and the lights are low you lying beside me, me full of love and filled with hope....

57. We could be ... but will we?

2010-07-09T01:54:00.003+03:00

And in the night, I could be helpless,
I could be lonely, sleeping without you.

And in the day, everything's complex,
There's nothing simple, when I'm not around you.

But I'll miss you when you're gone, that is what I do. Hey, baby!
And it's going to carry on, that is what I do. Hey, baby...

When you lose something you can't replace

2010-06-21T01:24:00.002+03:00

...I feel like that is what's going to happen...I dunno why I have this feeling...

...all I know is that I want it to stop, to end the uncertainty...

...seems like alright is not in my vocabulary right now...

...hope it will be...

...

You have spent your entire life learning to be unhappy

2010-06-08T18:07:00.002+03:00

...and the way we learn to be unhappy is by buying into a particular mental model. The problem isn't that we have mental models, the problem is that we don't know that we have mental models

Perfect combination for unhappiness:

get something
so you can do something
so you can be something

All of this is a variation of the "if...then" model..."if this happens, then I will be happy".
When you're not accepting what is going on, then you're buying into the model and the model itself is flawed.

We define our life in terms of outcome...just stop investing in the outcome, start investing in the process. Investing in the outcome means that you make the achievement of a particular outcome dependent on your well-being.

http://www.ted.com/talks/srikumar_rao_plug_into_your_hard_wired_happiness.html

And yes, what you can get, you can "unget"...oh, so easy :(

56. When you're to scared to think that someone else feels the way you feel

2010-06-07T01:34:00.003+03:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekPRAeHc-L4

55. In the realm of certainty...really now?

2010-06-07T01:30:00.002+03:00

I tied myself with wire
To let the horses roam free
Playing with the fire
Until the fire played with me

The stone was semi-precious
We were barely conscious
Two souls too smart to be
In the realm of certainty

We set ourselves on fire
Oh God, do not deny her
It’s not if I believe in love
If love believes in me
Oh, believe in me

At the moment of surrender
I folded to my knees
I did not notice the passers-by
And they did not notice me

I’ve been in every black hole
At the altar of the dark star
My body’s now a begging bowl
That’s begging to get back, begging to get back
To my heart
To the rhythm of my soul
To the rhythm of my unconsciousness
To the rhythm that yearns
To be released from control

I was punching in the numbers at the ATM machine
I could see in the reflection
A face staring back at me
At the moment of surrender
Of vision over visibility
I did not notice the passers-by
And they did not notice me

I was speeding on the subway
Through the stations of the cross
Every eye looking every other way
Counting down ’til the pain would stop

At the moment of surrender
Of vision over visibility
I did not notice the passers-by
And they did not notice me

One after the other and the rush between them

2010-06-07T00:45:00.003+03:00

And you reach that point that you don't want to see coming: when you're all concerned and don't know exactly where you stand...

You try to get it out of your head and stop thinking only about what could be worse...but still you have that feeling that something will go wrong...somewhere, somehow...something will go wrong...

Usually it goes away once you discuss it and stop the analysis right before you go mad. And then you find your way back to yourself and the equilibrium you used to have.

...and...

They're all happening so fast, on all the levels and I can't quite catch up with them...and then I lose myself along the way and all my ideas go to waste because I didn't find the right time.

Still...I have my priorities in line, one after the other...guess it's the stability that gets me so scared...or the fear of losing it now that I have it on my fingertips.

What I have chosen for myself is rewarding...what has been happening for a while now is more than I would have expected last year...which makes me wonder:
"Is it real?"
"Will it happen from now on also?"
"Can I have that trust?"

...because I know it's worth it
...and I wanted it so much...for so long now

Who would have thought that it's so scary to get the things that you so much wanted?

How they turn around

2010-04-05T02:15:00.003+03:00

Not because you want to or you see them coming...but because they happen without you even predicting. Call it blindness or denial, the name is not important...but the source is.
First you start with a new role, go on a path you think you might know, learn to know new people and then you begin rebuilding and creating, 'cuz it's the natural order of things...or so you think.
There are a lot of things that I will not be able to mend and bigger challenges will come this way...that's one thing that I know for sure...what I am trying to find out is how to avoid being alone in the process.
Somehow the balance isn't here...and alongside the joy was lost...it went away with some of the people that I was not able to keep close (for one reason or another).

I'm ready to have that back...cuz that's my energy.
I'm willing to apologyze, cuz it's my nature.
I'm not going to stop caring, cuz this is how I've grown.
I'll find I way to be more open, cuz that's how you'll get to know me.

And I'm sure that I can do this on my own, but I choose not to...cuz I'm not the center of my universe anymore...and I'm glad that I can say this ;)

54. And they only express the way I feel :)

2010-04-03T02:09:00.003+03:00

Baby slow down
The end is not as fun as the start
Please stay a child somewhere in your heart...

Ițll give you everything you want
Except the thing that you want
YOU are the first one of your kind

And you FEEL like no one before
You steal right under my door
And i kneel 'cause I want you some more
I want the lot of what you've got
And I want NOTHING that you're NOT

Everywhere you go you shout it
You don't have to be shy about it...

Let's see colors that have never been seen
Let's go to places no one else has been...

Stumbling on happiness

2010-03-05T00:49:00.002+02:00

The subject of these days...it seems to follow me.

I do believe in reason and science, I actually treasure them and I'm glad I have learned about them. But sometimes it's hard for me to accept one theory or another, especially when it is so different from what I am experiencing every day.

It's in my nature to react to all the things that happen around me, to try to find out the reasons behind them, to dissect them into bits and pieces...and still, I have the feeling it leads me nowhere.

I complicate things and sometimes I am so aware of this that it hurts. I would make it simple, really...I would...but when I try to do this it seems that other people don't...all in search for that thing that we call happiness: either love, professional success, family, friends, the nature of our activities, art...it's in every single one of them, the sum of some of them, the combination of others...or just our mere perceptions, memory tricks and bad imagination...

Still...we are here...not able to connect to each other, building bridges and gaps to keep our "ego" to ourselves, constructing realities that we don't know if we want, hoping that it will get better, that we will grow up and resolve all our issues.

I've decided to stop this some time ago; I don't have a plan, but I have my ways. It's about taking that responsibility towards myself and the "I" that I am or will be. Fear and uncertainty will still be there, no doubt about that...it's the way of facing them that will change, or at least improve.

No statement, just some reflection...

No conclusion, just a thought...

No promise, just the living of it...

Cuz I don't want to get tired, bitter or annoying and cuz I want to see Kitty again with that friendly face saying: "What's wrong with you, that you're so right?! So right the way you were?!"

53. I won't be a passenger through your life

2010-02-26T18:50:00.003+02:00

I must stop this...cuz it leads nowhere...

...not as the substitute person...not that, for nobody, not even if it's damn hard!

52. But I'm no wiser than the fool I was before

2010-02-25T10:00:00.001+02:00

51. Moment of lucidity

2010-02-25T01:56:00.004+02:00

I guess it hits you when you realize that you can't be enought for a person...that the very essence of you is not what another being needs: your company, your words, your ideas or the way you approach different situations are not what he/she needs in that moment.

There is no timing problem, no substitute reason...just two people not finding each other. The thing is that there is a great probability that they will never meet in the same point and at least one of them will most probably get hurt.

There is no ideal situation, no dream to catch, no possible/future/virtual "solution"...because we only have our thoughts and guess what?!...they don't collide.

And then you find yourself somewhere between the point of giving up and letting it go (because somehow you know it's the best possible way) with that sour taste and that bitter attitude thinking "you we're right...I do believe in that ideal situation...that's why I will never have it"

Splendour in the grass

2010-02-18T23:58:00.003+02:00

What though the radiance
which was once so bright
Be now forever taken from my sight,
Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendour in the grass,
of glory in the flower;
We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what remains behind;
In the primal sympathy
Which having been must ever be;
In the soothing thoughts that spring
Out of human suffering;
In the faith that looks through death,
In years that bring the philosophic mind.

50. Pictures of you...

2010-02-18T09:25:00.002+02:00

If only i had thought of the right words

I could have hold on to your heart

If only i'd thought of the right words

I wouldn't be breaking apart...all my pictures of you

Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind

2010-02-17T15:42:00.002+02:00

How happy is the blameless Vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each prayer accepted and each wish resigned.

That point of no return

2010-02-17T01:31:00.002+02:00

It's like she always knew what to say, but never found the right moment to say it.

"Could have, should have, would have"...she doesn't want to reach that point, but something is telling her that she will if she doesn't get over herself in due time.

It's about confidence she thinks...well, yes it is...and about assessing the risks. But how can you assess the risks of something that you don't know, at a point in time when you can only imagine it...?

She knows she's being irational, but it's like she's so used to that and doesn't want to let it go. Eventually she will have to; when reality kicks in.

She's thinking...a lot...most probably she will do what she has in mind right now...there will come that time when she can't wait or wonder anymore.

Until then...she keeps on evaluating and building strength for what it is to come :)

49.For what it's worth x 2

2010-02-16T17:08:00.002+02:00

The four letter word is out of my head

Sooner or later you will need to face the music :)

2010-02-16T04:29:00.001+02:00

Enough...enough now

2010-02-16T03:53:00.001+02:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5m2T5yfgsZ0&feature=related

And this is it (dot) (dot) (dot)

48.Antoher version

2010-02-16T01:44:00.003+02:00

Of one of the videos for one of my favorite songs...

Tonight I lack the strength to even move,
When you walked, now watch me die

But I know this is harder for you,
For love has let you down

The road ahead is lined with broken dreams,
So walk, yeah walk on by

And I failed to give you everything you need,
For the fear's...behind your eyes

When I can’t feel you,
I’m not alright, I’m not alright

'Cuz I believed in love and beauty’s wiles
Where heaven shone from your eyes

I wanted you to say

...Actually, I wanted you to stay...but I guess you won't after all...

47.There are words for people like me

2010-02-16T01:39:00.001+02:00

There's no persuasion that I'm into
I've made some sense o f what we've been through
We should form a new foundation
If we could find the right location

Is it prey
On display ?!?
I'm feeling weak...

46. Turn the page

2010-02-16T00:42:00.001+02:00

But your thoughts will soon be wandering
The way they always do
When you're ridin' sixteen hours
And there's nothin' much to do
And you don't feel much like riding
You just wish the trip was through

Out there in the spotlight, you're a million miles away
Every ounce of energy, you try and give away
As the sweat pours out your body, like the music that you play

Here I am, On the road again
There I am, Up on the stage
There I go, Playin' star again
There I go, Turn the page

Who bist du?

2010-02-16T00:39:00.002+02:00

The warm hands are so cold
All clocks have stopped
It's no longer healthy to laugh, and soon...

It's like you said over and over again: people always leave, but when will they come back? Stronger? More confident? Changed?

45. How do you find out the truth?

2010-02-15T14:07:00.000+02:00

Whatever happens will be

2010-02-15T13:47:00.000+02:00

Misunderstood

2010-02-07T15:14:00.001+02:00

i don't think so...i say it, but i don't mean it

i don't show a lot of things

doesn't mean that i don't feel them

FLOW

2010-02-05T13:09:00.002+02:00

“Flow: the state in which people are so involved in an activity that nothing else seems to matter; the experience itself is so enjoyable that people will do it even at great cost, for the sheer sake of doing it.” The most important common characteristic is the feeling of effortlessness...

1. Action-awareness merging. The person is immersed so much in the activity that his actions become spontaneous, almost automatic.

2. A challenging activity that requires skill, a task we can manage to do with the maximal activation of our skill.

3. Clear goals...it is often difficult to determine the goal in advance.

4. Immediate and direct feedback about the result.

5. Full concentration on the task at hand. One of the most often cited characteristic of the flow experience is that one forgets all other aspects of life. All troubles in life stop existing, all information unrelated to the task at hand is pushed out of awareness temporarily.

6. A sense of control. In the state of flow one does not worry about controlling the situation or activity. He concentrates only on the present, on the flawlessness of the given moment. Many signs indicate that in order to achieve flow, one has to give up wanting to be in control. “Had you not wanted her, you would have gotten her”.

7. A loss of the feeling of self-consciousness. "Somehow the right thing is done without you ever thinking about it or doing anything at all. …It just happens. And yet, you are more concentrated.”

8. Temporarily distorted time sense: It is easily conceivable that escaping the bondage of time in itself increases, or even produces the enjoyment of full involvement.

Distancing

2010-02-05T13:03:00.002+02:00

Distancing is another defense mechanism. In this case, we do not project the material to be repressed onto others, but insert another object between ourselves and the object of our desire, or compartmentalize our feelings and cognitions.

This way, we escape the pain of the unbearable closeness of the object of our own desire. Although the insertion itself can be conscious, it remains hidden from ourselves why we do that.

Well...mine is totally conscious, but still used as a preservation method. Why act when I can stay in my comfort zone and contemplate what could have been?

44. Your mind tricked you to feel the pain

2010-02-04T23:39:00.002+02:00

Hush now, don't you cry
Wipe away the teardrop from your eye
You're lying safe in bed
It was all a bad dream
Spinning in your head
Your mind tricked you to feel the pain
Of someone close to you leaving the game of life
So here it is, another chance
Wide awake you face the day
Your dream is over... or has it just begun?

There's a place I like to hide
A doorway that I run through in the night
Relax child, you were there
But only didn't realize and you were scared
It's a place where you will learn
To face your fears, retrace the years
And ride the whims of your mind
Commanding in another world
Suddenly you hear and see
This magic new dimension

I- will be watching over you
I- am gonna help you see it through
I- will protect you in the night
I- am smiling next to you, in silent lucidity

[Visualize your dream]
[Record it in the present tense]
[Put it into a permanent form]
[If you persist in your efforts]
[You can achieve dream control]
[Dream control]
[How's that then, better?]
[Hug me]

If you open your mind for me
You won't rely on open eyes to see
The walls you built within
Come tumbling down, and a new world will begin
Living twice at once you learn
You're safe from pain in the dream domain
A soul set free to fly
A round trip journey in your head
Master of illusion, can you realize
Your dream's alive, you can be the guide but...

I- will be watching over you
I- am gonna help to see it through
I- will protect you in the night
I- am smiling next to you....

43. I believe that beauty magazines promote low self esteem

2010-02-04T23:10:00.001+02:00

Yes! Affirmation :) Loud and clear! :D

42. Poate sunt doar eu sau poate si tu esti la fel

2010-02-04T22:45:00.001+02:00

Maybe then I would say it :)

2010-02-03T22:53:00.000+02:00

If for a moment God would forget that I am a rag doll and give me a scrap of life, possibly I would not say everything that I think, but I would definitely think everything that I say.

I would value things not for how much they are worth but rather for what they mean.

I would sleep little, dream more. I know that for each minute that we close our eyes we lose sixty seconds of light.

I would walk when the others loiter; I would awaken when the others sleep.

I would listen when the others speak, and how I would enjoy a good chocolate ice cream.

If God would bestow on me a scrap of life, I would dress simply, I would throw myself flat under the sun, exposing not only my body but also my soul.

My God, if I had a heart, I would write my hatred on ice and wait for the sun to come out. With a dream of Van Gogh I would paint on the stars a poem by Benedetti, and a song by Serrat would be my serenade to the moon.

With my tears I would water the roses, to feel the pain of their thorns and the incarnated kiss of their petals...My God, if I only had a scrap of life...

I wouldn't let a single day go by without saying to people I love, that I love them.

I would convince each woman or man that they are my favourites and I would live in love with love.

I would prove to the men how mistaken they are in thinking that they no longer fall in love when they grow old--not knowing that they grow old when they stop falling in love. To a child I would give wings, but I would let him learn how to fly by himself. To the old I would teach that death comes not with old age but with forgetting. I have learned so much from you men....

I have learned that everybody wants to live at the top of the mountain without realizing that true happiness lies in the way we climb the slope.

I have learned that when a newborn first squeezes his father's finger in his tiny fist, he has caught him forever.

I have learned that a man only has the right to look down on another man when it is to help him to stand up. I have learned so many things from you, but in the end most of it will be no use because when they put me inside that suitcase, unfortunately I will be dying.

41. Your soul will be OK

2010-02-02T23:18:00.001+02:00

When you’ve had enough searching for love
And you miss the touch
Of someone new

Burned by your dreams
It's never how it seems
Cold crushed esteem

Take shelter and hide forever
Your soul will be OK

When you try your best, but you don't succeed

2010-02-02T02:19:00.007+02:00

I don't doubt it that people truly find things that make them happy...for a while. But still...some seem to run from their past and look towards a brighter future just because they did't get what they wanted at one point. Or is it just me? My impression of how things are...

I can't help but think that I did that some time ago: I just left. No second thoughts, no remorse, no regrets...just that clear moment when you think: "This is exciting. This is new. I will try it"

It never came through my mind..."What if?"

What if someone was waiting for me at home...and still is?

What if I left things unfinished and ran away?

What if I could have done better somewhere else?

What if this turningpoint was about to change the way I live in such a way that I will look back after some years and not remember who I was before?

I dislike uncertainty and I hate avoindance...yet I practice them all the time.

I like you if you're certain of what you want to do, who you are or what the world means to you, but I can't help and wonder: "Have you thought about this? Have you considered every possibility? Do you know why you're doing this? Are you counscious of the function of the behavior you're engaging in right now?"

Well...if you have the answers to these quetions I guess I truly admire you. If you think you have them, maybe you should think again...just to indulge the person you're going to be some years from now.

If I were...

2010-01-31T01:23:00.002+02:00

If I were a month, I would be... April

If I were a day of the week, I would be... Wednesday

If I were a par of the day, I would be... the evening

If I were a sea animal, I would be... dolphin

If I were a direction, I would be... sideways

If I were a virtue, I would be... loyalty

If I were a history personality, I would be... Alexander the Great
If I were a planet, I would be... Earth

If I were a liquid, I would be...orange juice :P

If I were a bird, I would be... a green bird ;))
If I were a plant, I would be... a tulip

If I were a stone, I would be..."jade" or "amber"

If I were a type of weather, I would be...post "summer rain" thingie :)

If I were a musical instrument, I would be...a guitar
If I were an emotion, I would be...affection
If I were a sound, I would be...some particular form of guitar accords

If I were an element, I would be...kripton

If I were a song, I would be...sooo many :P...Unforgiven II, Metallica
If I were a movie, I would be...A beautiful mind...or Crash :D

If I were a book, I would be...Flowers for Algernon...or Tha Catcher in the Rye
If I were a type of food, I would be...lemon ice cream

If I were a city, I would be...Sibiu
If I were a taste, I would be...bitter-sweet

If I were an aroma, I would be...coffee
If I were a color, I would be...greeeennnnn
If I were a fabric, I would be...cashmere

If I were a word, I would be...science
If I were a body part, I would be...an eye (green one)

If I were a face expression, I would be...too complicated to pronounce
If I were a cartoon character, I would be...Dory (from Finding Nemo)

If I were a shape, I would be...a star
If I were a number, I would be...4
If I were a mean of transportation, I would be...a train

If I were a piece of cloth, I would be...a T-shirt (cosy but important)

Memento

2010-01-27T23:50:00.002+02:00

I have to believe in a world outside my own mind

I have to believe that my actions still have meaning

Even if I can't remeber them

I have to believe that when my eyes are closed, the world's still there

Do I believe the world's still there?

Is it still out there?

Yeah...

We all need memories to remind ourselves who we are

I'm no different!

40. Nimic din mine-n lumea ta

2010-01-21T02:30:00.002+02:00

Cand tot ce-auzi e tot ce crezi, ramane doar sa mai si vezi...cand tac

...Gaseste-mi loc sa nu ma pierzi...

39. You don't have a clue

2010-01-12T01:03:00.002+02:00

As usual...what can I say?

Problema e ca s-ar putea ca eu sa n-am habar de toata situatia asta...si uite-asa disonanta...

38. Just say YES...

2009-12-22T18:43:00.004+02:00

Just say there's nothing holding you back
It's not a test, nor a trick of the mind...only love...

37. And though I know who I'm not I still don't know who I am

2009-11-15T05:37:00.003+02:00

you'll rescue me right? in the exact same way they never did..
I'll be happy right? when your healing powers kick in

you'll complete me right? then my life can finally begin
I'll be worthy right? only when you realize the gem I am?

these precious illusions in my head did not let me down when I was a kid
and parting with them is like parting with a childhood best friend

I've spent so long firmly looking outside me
I've spent so much time living in survival mode

Something that I have discovered

2009-11-11T02:48:00.002+02:00

I am at my best when I don't feel alone.
I will try to prevent times when things don't come out right.
I will enjoy my work by finding employment where I can do strategic plans.
I will find enjoyment in my personal life through being with the person I love.
I will find opportunities to use my natural talents and gifts such as singing, resilience, being close to people.
I can do anything I set my mind to. I will go backpacking through Europe.
My life's journey is something important and lifechanging, touching for the people I meet. I will leave a trail and knowledge for those who come after me.
My family and friends, my lifetime colleagues, my person...will say I have inspired them to do something great and overachieve themselves.
My most important future contribution to others will be the fact that I listen without judging and that I don't give answers, but ask the right questions....
I will stop procrastinating and start working on:
my tendency to see the negative things at first:
my lack of punctuality
the fact that sometimes I neglect my friends

I will strive to incorporate the following attributes into my life:
strength to go on
ability to tell you the things that you should change
rationality and structured way of supporting you

I will constantly renew myself by focusing on the four dimensions of my life:
taking care of my health
trust in a bigger force
knowledge...a lot of knowledge
my person...always there for me and my thoughts

Pentru ca nu vreau sa devin sclavul lucrurilor urgente

2009-11-11T02:29:00.001+02:00

36.For some day I will be that better person

2009-11-11T02:18:00.000+02:00

Well what scares me the most is to lose all that hurts
And what drives me insane is the waste of your games
You've got to let it go

35.For all the people that made me...ME

2009-11-11T02:09:00.001+02:00

34.So I speak to you in riddles, cuz my words get in my way...

2009-10-24T18:22:00.002+03:00

Yup...mereu a fost asa...si nu generalizez (de data asta)

Gadgets, gizmos and guinea pigs :D

2009-10-23T01:58:00.001+03:00

G-Force...Yes! Yes! Yes!

Come here squishy...he he heh ;))

2009-10-23T01:52:00.000+03:00

What do we do? We SWIM SWIM SWIM

2009-10-23T01:48:00.002+03:00

Guess I'm not that tired anymore :D

Din seria...am devenit o colectie de deadline-uri

2009-10-22T17:13:00.003+03:00

It's only when I listen to music...that's when I realise it, or bring it to my consciousness...

Am avut parte de un discurs tare interesant saptamana trecuta care m-a lovit asa, direct. Couldn't help but think about it...si se pare ca inca ma mai gandesc la asta: "am devenit o colectie de deadline-uri" sau "m-am alienat in ele", ceea ce e oarecum adevarat.

Am stat sa ma intreb daca am ajuns in acel punct in care am reusit sa ratez lucruri importante pentru lucruri urgente; mi-am dat seama ca e asa e...propriul meu scenariu e cam lipsa in momentul de fata tocmai din aceste motive.

The fact is I don't have time to think lately...and it hurts...it seems like it's not me. It used to be different...I was not this superficial and it's now that I realise how much I miss those talks...obisnuiau sa ma ajute in procesul de restructurare cognitiva; dar se pare ca nu stiu cum sa fac sa le aduc inapoi "in my small, insignificant life"

Tot din seria "ganduri disparate, lansate pe o pista fara sens" au mai fost niste oameni destepti care au avut ceva revelatie la un moment dat: "NU putem modifica procesul obiectiv, putem modifica doar felul in care interactionam cu el"...it's so true and I so hate it :(

Si da...poate o sa invat si eu ca "NU conteaza ce-a facut viata din noi, conteaza ceea ce facem cu ce-a facut viata din noi."

Probabil ca nu o sa ma apuc de scris cantece rationale, dar la fel de bine pot sa ma apuc sa scriu blog-uri in care sa inserez astfel de mesaje...hoping they will reach at least me.

Just to end it in my own particular way: "Sometimes effort cand seem enough in itself. Just trying hard can be satisfying. But DON'T get so caught up in pushing that you fail to see where you are going." So true, so true...

33.Simply without words

2009-10-15T03:00:00.002+03:00

32.Latest emotion

2009-09-27T22:13:00.003+03:00

No video...just words that express what I've been feeling for some time...

But I know what I have to do...ENOUGH NOW! Things can and will be better than this...in time

I'm careful not to fall
I have to climb your wall
'Cause you're the one
Who makes me feel much taller than you are
I'm just a peeping tom
On my own for far too long
Problems with the booze
Nothing left to lose

I'm weightless... I'm bare
I'm faithless... I'm scared

The face that fills the hole
That stole my broken soul
The one that makes me seem to feel much taller than you are
I'm just a peeping tom
On my own for far too long
Troubles with the gear
Nothing left to fear

I'm weightless... I'm bare
I'm faithless... I'm scared
I'm weightless... I'm bare
I'm faithless... I'm scared

With every bet I lost
And every trick I tossed
You're still the one who makes me feel much taller than you are
I'm just a peeping tom
On my own for far too long
Problems with the booze
Nothing left to lose

I'm weightless... I'm bare
I'm faithless... I'm scared
I'm weightless... I'm bare
I'm faithless... I'm scared
I'm weightless... I'm bare
I'm faithless... I'm scared
I'm scared
I'm scared
I'm scared
I'm scared

31.Alright (Or at least I should be)

2009-09-26T00:41:00.001+03:00

The road ahead is lined with broken dreams,
So walk, yeah walk on by...

...at least I'm trying to do that...it's my only way rigth now

Enjoy!

30.Lately it feels like I might need some time

2009-09-26T00:32:00.003+03:00

Daca n-ar fi aceasta propensiune catre melodiile triste...ce bine ar mai fi.

Dar tot regasesc in ele o parte din mine...

Many miles from where I’m sleeping
You share laughter in the evening
As do I, in the great divine
Yours is mine
We’ll find love
The kind we’re dreaming of

28&29.It comes and goes

2009-09-26T00:20:00.002+03:00

Yup...e din nou acel sentiment. A fost ok o perioada, cel putin era sub control. Acum ceva a declansat vesnica-mi stare de reverie; macar daca nu m-as pierde in platitudini.

Cred ca mi-e dor de vechea atmosfera, de discutiile lungi cu Rodi si cu Alex, de principiile puse acolo la bataie si de felul in care le intorceam pe toate partile, de sentimentul ala ca am realizat ceva numai gandindu-ma la o problema.

E un fel de amalgam de multe "chestii"...ca nu le pot defini altfel...si ce ma enerveaza cel mai tare e ca am mare nevoie de ele. Will I ever get them back? Numai asta imi rasuna in minte acum. E ca atunci cand ma trezesc gandindu-ma la ce-mi doresc si ce am realizat pana acum. Si stiu ca trece...mereu e asa; dar cat timp dureaza sunt complet dis/nefunctionala.

27.On a small street in Bucharest

2009-09-23T22:43:00.001+03:00

26.It was a long time ago

2009-09-23T22:41:00.000+03:00

...but the feeling remains the same...

25.This is what I live for...:)

2009-09-23T22:37:00.002+03:00

24.Any other name...

2009-09-23T22:26:00.003+03:00

Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it all at once and it’s too much.

My heart feels like it’s a balloon...it’s about to burst...and then

I remember to relax and stop trying to hold down to it.

And then it flows through me like rain...and I can’t feel

anything but gratitude for every single momen of my little life.

You have no idea what I’m talking about, I’m sure, but don’t worry,

you will...soon enough :)

One of the speeches that still impresses me

2009-09-23T22:18:00.003+03:00

I've always believed in numbers and the equations and logics that lead to reason.

But after a lifetime of such pursuits, I ask,

"What truly is logic?"
"Who decides reason?"

My quest has taken me through the physical, the metaphysical, the delusional -- and back.

And I have made the most important discovery of my career, the most important discovery of my life...

You are all my reasons...

23.My life is driven by music

2009-09-23T22:12:00.003+03:00

You've come such a long way...with no one to comfort you or to tell you you're needed

You and I come from the same place, but if I were to call for you...What's there left to believe in?

No way, you're looking down

Took my heart and ripped my crown

And i'm fallin' for ya,

And i'm falling for you, ah,

That's enough to believe in.

(yup...they do express what I feel right now)

Unele lucruri se repeta...

2009-09-23T22:00:00.002+03:00

10 mai 2008

They don’t love you like I love you….nu e tocmai adevarat…dar asa mai spun din cand in cand nenii astia de la Yeah Yeah Yeahs si inca o mai spun si intr-un mod foarte artistic: cu un sunet de instrument care se aude pe fundal repetitiv pana in adancurile tesutului meu auditiv (chiar dak nu ii spune asa in termeni stiintifici) si cu o voce usor guturala (guturala sa fie?) a unei doamne sau domnisoare care mie imi place foarte tare. Pacat ca melodia imi induce o stare de spirit de nu as mai face nimic toata ziua, nici toata sapataman de acum incolo. As sta si as visa la cum numai eu as putea sa-i ofer unei persoane ceea ce cauta in fiecare zi….Bull***…ma rog…parca nu-mi vine sa cred ca asa ceva este posibil; cel putin eu nu am trait asta pana acum. Si, mergand pe un rationament pur inductiv, pueril si lipsit de seriozitate: daca eu nu am trait asta inseamna ca nu exista sau nu merita mentionat. Mda….frumos spus, dragut conturat, cu acorduri subtile si cu o incarcatura emotionala demna de invidiat….si totusi nu reuseste sa ajunga acolo unde ajunge Alanis cu a ei Utopia. O daaa, alta melodie care te face sa te intrebi unde sunt toate lucrurile de care vorbeste (sau canta) femeia asta cu toata forta glasului ei. Desi, privind mai atent intentiile ironicei interprete, mi-ar placea sa traiesc in lumea ei utopica decat in No bravery-ul lui James Blunt…come on man, get a life! No really? Adica nu s-a saturat inca de acelasi stil care in momentele de melancolie ma trimite la o tristete profunda…rupta de realitate. Si dintr-o data intreg universul mi-e negru, nimic nu-mi mai iese bine, ma innec intr-o perspectiva lipsita de speranta si astept…si-atat…nu mai fac nimic, nu mai conteaza nimic, oamenii nu mai exista, totul se opreste – subit si neasteptat as putea spune. Dar ma intorc la Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs, evit cu orice pret Radiohead si Damien Rice si-atunci apare cineva care are chef de o discutie despre lucruri reale…si inchid winamp-ul sau dau un binemeritat “b” sau….cel mai des…pun o melodie la cerere – total diferita de ce-mi place mie. Ei…gata cu experienta muzicala…..

Ce as vrea…sau ce as fi vrut…hm…..

Some real friends, sau sa pot fi eu cu adevarat deschisa fata de cei care ar putea sa-mi fie real friends…dar nu-mi prea iese nush din ce motiv

Sa nu mai fiu asa aiurita si sa nu mai ratez ocazii importante din cauza asta…ca ceva cu CV-ul de la picoil si cu workshop-ul de la DeKlausen…man, I am an idiot sometimes…pardon, cateodata am un comportament necorespunzator atingerii obiectivelor mele, comportament pe care trebuie sa-l modific printr-o metoda sau alta

O facultate care sa nu fie plina de fete cu care nici nu am interactionat asa de mult pana acum si cu care nu voi mai interactiona pentru ca oricum e prea tarziu

Mai multa seriozitate si angajamente respectate

Mai putin timp pierdut…pardon…Sa pierd mai putin timp

Sa nu mai stau aiurea noapte ca huhurezul

Sa ma pot trezi dimineata

Sa pot manca inghetata fara sa ma ingras

Sa nu-mi mai placa ciocolata…oribila senzatie

Sa nu devin alcoolica

Sa nu fac prea multe lucruri pe care sa le regret in time

Sa nu mai ruminez atat

Sa nu ma mai duc degeaba dupa colet la posta aia enervanta cu tot cu functonarii ei sictiriti

Sa nu mai fac atatea gafe fata de oamenii la care chiar tin

Sa invat sa-mi controlez pornirile exagerate

Sa ma inteleg cu Dan

Sa ma simt bine cu mine, fara ca asta sa depinda de o alta persoana

Sa fac lucruri care sa conteze cu adevarat: nush ce…ceva care sa lase o amprenta

Sa ma hotarasc unde voi ramane

Sa pot fi mai aproape de ai mei

Sa-mi gasesc rostul si locul

Sa zbor cu avionul ala ieftin pana la Bucuresti

Sa invat odata la personalului J

Sa...sa…sa stiu eu ce…dar nu vreau sa mai scriu depsre asta…din superstitie probabil :p

Sa nu mai fiu atat de patetica atunci cand scriu…sa am o scriitura frumoasa J

That’s it!

Back to work!

21 mai 2008

Cică să-mi planific viitorul….şi eu abia trăiesc de pe azi pe mâine. Poate ar fi bine să-mi stabilesc nişte obiective şi să mi le etalez prin cameră – să le vadă toată lumea, sau să fac o promisiune publică, de faţă cu toţi cei dragi mie sau să-mi tai din recompense până nu mă pun odata pe treabă. Întrebarea majoră e “Cum?” Cum să mă apuc de ceva şi să continui acel ceva dacă mie îmi zboară gândul în şapte mii de locuri: de fiecare dată când ascult o melodie, de fiecare dată când deschid messenger-ul, de fiecare dată când merg pe stradă, de fiecare dată…şi acum iar încerc să epatez prin repetiţii. J

Aaa….”cul”; azi am spus în loc de soluţie volatilă soluţie volubilă…şi nu mi-am dat seama decât după vreo 10 minute de la comiterea miraculoasei “fapte”; cred că mă ramolesc încet şi sigur…ca să nu cumva să mai pot reveni la starea iniţială, să nu cumva să mă “fac bine”; asta dacă aş mai şti de unde am plecat, pornit sau mă rog.

Şi încă îmi doresc să nu mai scriu aberaţii şi tâmpenii, lucruri comune pe care un copil talentat de clasa a 7-a le scria de pe la 8 ani. J Mda…ce să mai spun? “Unde-s speranţele? N-a mai rămas niciuna….” “Daţi-mi viaţa înapoi…ce-am risipit pentru voi…”, “Dintr-o mie, câţi au mai rămas?”…dap….bine zic ăştia de la phoenix…un pic către limita iraţionalului şi cu tente ruminative, dar nicio problemă: probabil că dacă ar citi cineva ceea ce scriu mi-ar pune vreo 10 diagnostice uşor diferite (pe puţin).

Şi totuşi mă roade, mă doare, mă sufocă…şi nu mă pot abţine…nu pot să nu fac “click”, nu mă pot opri din frenezia scrisului, aşteptând măcar o frază în loc de răspuns…după care, evident nu mă mulţumesc cu atât…aştept mai mult şi mai mult. “Ai închis marea în ochii tăi”..da…asta ai făcut…“E furtună, ce ploaie nebună şi vine chiar din ochii tăi”, “M-ai învăţat s-aştept un semn din partea ta” – câteodată unele versuri îmi “pică” bine şi exprimă în 3 cuvinte simple fraze la care mă chinuiesc de zile.

N-o să fiu o mare artistă, nu o să fac arhitectură sau design de interioare, poli e deja un mit, clasele mixte sunt ceva outrated…tot ce ştiu acum să fac e să scriu “chestii”, gânduri disparate, random…în speranţa că o să pun la un moment dat ordine în ele…O să pot şterge atunci regiştrii şi o să pot da un reinstall acestui mic progrămel numit creier…sau nu….analogia nu e bună…pentru că în situaţia asta ar trebui să dau un format…dap…asta ar fi analogia potrivită. Şi cum nu pot să-mi achiziţionez un nou creier, aşa cum schimb HDD-ul atunci când se “buşeşte” sau RAM-ii, când am nevoie de mai multă “memorie” rămân la banalul trecut pe hârtie, făcut excel sau lipit post-its…nu de alta, dar ca să-mi amintească ;).

22 mai 2008

Cred că se întâmplă în fiecare dimineaţă pe la ora 3.00, când încep să ascult muzică în scop terapeutic. Probabil că nu mă orientez eu către cele mai potrivite melodii care să deservească scopul „vindecării”, dar mai durează până o să pun la punct această tehnică. „Do I assume I could fly”...hmm...do I?, yeah, yeah, „I will drown my soul in sensory pleasure” once I finish this....”like time is a virus and it has found us at last”...iubesc versul ăsta...poate pentru că descrie starea mea de câteva zile încoace: melancolică, aburită de somn şi de dorinţă de getting out of it, ciudată, obsesivă, nesănătoasă.

Uneori aştept să treacă timpul, pur şi simplu să treacă pe lângă mine; mă uit la el cum trece, mi-l imaginez, îl personific şi îl las să treacă numai ca să-i fac în ciudă. Şi asta pentru că nu-mi plac ordinile, constrângerile, presiunea....deşi se pare că lucrez cel mai bine sub presiune.

Hmm....să vorbesc despre ceea ce se întâmplă în jurul meu şi mai puţin despre mine. Oare cum aş putea să fac asta când cea mai apropiată experienţă pe care o am e propria mea trăire. „I’m drowning in colours, drowning in black and white” – propriile mele culori, uneori şterse, alteorii vii şi de cele mai multe ori substituite...pentru ca ceilalţi să nu ştie, să nu afle. Cum să afle? De ce să afle? Oricum nu ar înţelege, nu şi-ar dori asta. „I’m just a little scared of being lonely” şi totuşi tot ceea ce fac e să mă ascund; măcar mă simt mai protejată aşa, măcar aşa nu sunt nevoită să gust insuccesul şi ruşinea, nu trebuie să trăiesc cu dezamăgirea. Mai bine stau într-o stare de permanent stand-by sentimental, mai bine nu dau frâu tuturor gândurilor şi trăirilor afective, da....mai bine le ţin pentru mine...doar sunt ale mele.

Am crezut că am învăţat să fiu calculată, să tratez controlul ca pe ceva innăscut mie...şi tocmai ascult Blink182 şi îmi dau seama că nu pot fi aşa...nu pot fi o păpuşă care stă cuminte pe raftul ei...până şi ei sunt sentimentali şi, come on, cântă „all the small things” – that’s not sentimental. Ar fi interesant să mă pot defini, dar poate îmi place să cred că sunt prea complexă ca să îmi comprim întreaga personalitate în cinci atribute mari şi late.

Dacă ăsta ar fi un blog cu siguranţă ar fi unul despre toate şi nimic (şi sunt 87% sigură că am plagiat sintagma asta), dar toate aceste totalităţi şi nimicurile lor se învârt în jurul aceleiaşi teme, din nou, obsesive: eu şi trăirile mele emoţionale...mai mult sau mai puţin deghizate, cu sau fără coloratură, descrise în limbaj literar sau în felul meu caracteristic...indiferent de formă, moment sau consistenţă sunt ale mele şi îmi place să cred că voi ţine mereu la ele.

4 iulie 2008

Si-acum tu imi arati atatea lucruri pe care stiu ca le voi regreta. Nu stiu insa de ce...nu ca ar fi lucruri neplacute..dar sunt acolo si ma leaga de tine si nu-mi doresc asta. Sunt total rupta de realitate atunci cand astfel de momente apar, imaginatia mea merge mult prea departe si nu mai stiu ce si daca am zis acel „ce”. Nu te cunosc si, din nou, nu stiu daca vreau asta; nu pentru ca mi se vor narui toate ideile pe care le-am formulat in jurul si avand ca subiect persoana ta, ci pentru ca voi cladi pe ele din ce in ce mai mult. Voi merge din minciuna in minciuna, din gand in gand, voi urca pe arhitectura acestei constructii pana in punctul terminus si voi mai adauga...pentru ca nu va exista acel punct final daca nu pun capat astazi acestei povesti pe care o tot concep in fiecare dimineata – de fiecare data altfel.

Ce sa spun despre cosmos sau despre ce se intampla in jurul meu...absolut nimic!!! Sunt doar ideile care aparent nu se leaga de nimic, pe care unii le percep mai bine decat altii, pe care nu voi avea probabil niciodata curajul sa le impartasesc celor carora le sunt adresate. Si asta pentru ca ma entuziasmez, ma agit, vreau...dar imi trece; consecintele sunt poate mult prea importante pentru mine, ceea ce vei crede, cum vei reactiona, ce voi fi eu pentru tine. Cum spuneam, nu te cunosc, nu te stiu...atunci de ce sa risc? Ce am de castigat si, mai rau, ce am de pierdut? Daca as cunoaste toate necunoscutele ecuatiilor (sau..sa zicem..pe toate minus una) as putea probabil sa-mi asum ceva, orice...dar tot nu pot, „nu ma tine” (ca sa vb mai in trendul studentesc).

Nu vreau sa scriu despre ce a fost, despre cum s-a terminat ceva, despre ce ar putea...cred ca imi place sa scriu despre nimic si sa ma astept ca macar unii sa ma inteleaga, sa prinda ideea din zbor (desi e abia schitata si prost exprimata). Asa ca, daca ma fac inteleasa...bine, daca nu...mai incerc. Cine stie? Poate intr-o zi o sa invat sa ma exprim :P

Si totusi nu e doar un blog muzical...

2009-09-23T21:57:00.004+03:00

Am crezut ca o sa ma pot abtine, dar se pare ca nu-mi iese. A fost suficient sa citesc niste randuri aproape uitate...ca sa-mi dau seama cat de mult imi lipseste sentimentul pe care mi-l provoaca scrisul. Nu am considerat ca am despre ce sa scriu, dar sunt unele ganduri care poate ca merita impartasite. Si mai sunt si acele subiecte care merita discutate...si care sper ca vor veni, la momentul potrivit.

Pana atunci raman muzica, filmele si gandurile mele...toate intr-un singur loc. So this is day one, of many to come :D.

I'm actually happy about it. Don't know why, yet ;))

22.When you find a woderful voice :)

2009-09-07T01:09:00.000+03:00

21.Even in my dreams I'm an idiot

2009-09-03T02:56:00.003+03:00

My dreams are a cruel joke. They taunt me. Even in mydreams I'm an idiot...who knows he's about to wake up to reality.

If Icould only avoid sleep. But I can't. I try to tell myself what to dream. I try to dream that I am flying. ..Something free. It never works...

20.Great movie, wonderful soundtrack 1.0

2009-09-03T02:48:00.000+03:00

19.Goodbye

2009-09-03T02:42:00.002+03:00

Here's a lullaby to close your eyes...

18.Bankrupt emotionally

2009-09-03T02:39:00.000+03:00

And it takes bitter grapes to make it...our finest wine

17.Are we worried about what we might find?

2009-09-03T02:35:00.000+03:00

16.And from above everything's stinking, they're not around you

2009-09-03T02:32:00.002+03:00

15.The greatest declaration ever made

2009-09-03T02:22:00.003+03:00

well i want you to notice
to notice when i'm not around
and i know that your eyes see straight through me
and speak to me without a sound

i want to hold you
protect you from all of the things I've already endured
I want to show you
Show you all the things that this life has in store for you
I'll always love you
the way that a father should love his daughter

when i walked out this morning
i cried as i walked to the door
i cried about how long i'd be away for
i cried about leaving you all alone

sweet zoe jane

so i wanted to say this
cuz i wouldn't know where to begin
to explain to you what i have been through
to explain where your daddy has been

sweet zoe jane

14.But there never seems to be enough time

2009-09-03T02:18:00.002+03:00

If I could save time in a bottle
The first thing that Id like to do
Is to save every day
Till eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you

If I could make days last forever
If words could make wishes come true
Id save every day like a treasure and then,
Again, I would spend them with you

But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you find them
Ive looked around enough to know
That youre the one I want to go
Through time with

If I had a box just for wishes
And dreams that had never come true
The box would be empty
Except for the memory
Of how they were answered by you

But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you find them
Ive looked around enough to know
That youre the one I want to go
Through time with

Jim Croce - Time in a Bottle

13.What about that mad world...and the moments you want to escape it?

2009-09-03T02:12:00.004+03:00

And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very...mad world, mad world

12.Darkness has fallen

2009-09-03T00:50:00.004+03:00

May it be an evening star

Shines down upon you

May it be when darkness falls
Your heart will be true
You walk a lonely road
Oh! How far you are from home

Mornie utúlië (darkness has come)
Believe and you will find your way
Mornie alantië (darkness has fallen)
A promise lives within you now

May it be the shadows call
Will fly away

May it be you journey on
To light the day
When the night is overcome
You may rise to find the sun

Mornie utúlië (darkness has come)
Believe and you will find your way
Mornie alantië (darkness has fallen)
A promise lives within you now

A promise lives within you now

11.That feeling...again

2009-09-03T00:46:00.002+03:00

Capture it in a time capsule and never let it fade away!!!

10. The perfect song

2009-09-03T00:42:00.002+03:00

It always gives me the chills...how can one create such a thing?

09.For the old times

2009-09-03T00:33:00.004+03:00

It is so easy to see
Dysfunction between you and me
We must free up these tired souls
Before the sadness kills us both

08.Summer requiem

2009-08-31T01:21:00.002+03:00

Then without warning...it goes away...

07.Music Mastermind

2009-08-01T15:24:00.004+03:00

There are those songs that you (re)discover over time...ohhh, that great feeling

Follow through
Make your dreams come true
Don't give up the fight
You will be all right
Cause there's no one like you
In the universe

I couldn't live without this 8->

06.There's a world inside and a world out there

2009-07-31T00:04:00.004+03:00

There are always those friends that show you how to live your life...and they don't even know that they do that :)

It's a thank you...that's for sure >:D<